I almost have a teenager ..

The title says it all. I almost have a teenager.

If you were to look up my google history from the past few months, it would look a little something like this .. 

"11 year old boys behaviour"

"I think my kid is broken?"

"Where to buy headache tablets in bulk" 

"2nd opinions on if my kid is broken?"

"do boys get periods?"

"symptoms of .. boy puberty"

"Are you sure my 11 year old could be hitting puberty?"

"is there a way to stop puberty" 

"HELP ME!"

"why is my kid so angry?" 

"is there a world record for how many times a kid can slam a door in a day?"

"how do I fix a door?"

""anger management classes for children"

"could my child be deaf?"

"yoga resorts for exhausted mothers"

"vodka resorts for exhausted mothers"

"slam-proof doors"

"does he really actually hate me?"

"if he keeps rolling his eyes like that will they get stuck?"

I think you get the hint. Its been a challenging few months. You see, the thing about first children, is that while you are trying to teach them all the things of the world, they are also teaching you all the things of their world. I've never been here before. I've never mothered an 11 year old before.  This is all new to me.

When it's Roxiee's turn, I can at least take comfort in knowing that I've been down this road once before, I would have learnt some tricks of the trade and will be slightly more prepared, maybe. By the time it is Sommer and Jett's turn, I will just tell them to go puberty on their own because I'm way too old for those shenanigans. 

But for now, this is all new. He's like an angry ball of rage at times, he has to question every move, has to disagree every time I speak, has to test every limit and bend every single rule. He has to tell me how unfair his life is and how he never gets anything he wants. He has to defy just for the sake of defying. He has me pulling my hair out and wondering where the heck we went wrong, where the heck to find those slam proof doors and if I buy Vodka in bulk will it come in clear packaging. 

But the very next minute, he has me remembering what a caring and loving soul he is. How he would go out of his way to help his friends and family in a heartbeat, how he will stand up for things he believes in. How he kicks ass at school and has fantastic grades. How he gives everything his 110%. How he loves and protects his brother and sisters. How he has a soft, loving and nurturing side. How he oozes confidence. How he will always look to the people around him and invite the new kid to come play. How he will calmly tell his friends when he thinks they are out of line. How he won't allow people to be bullied. How he won't conform to what everyone else thinks and has his own opinions/thoughts on the world. 

He is wise beyond his years. He is strong willed. These are all amazing qualities. 

Im almost certain that he is finding his own emotions just as confusing as I am right now. Because it's not just new to me, it's new to him too. He's never been here before either. 

That is why I'm going to show him my blog, I'm going to remind him that I love the shiet out of him, that I am proud of him, sooooo very proud of him and that I want to help him become the best person he can possibly be. I'm going to keep googling all the answers of the world, I'm going to keep reading all those parenting books that remind me I'm doing the best I can. 

I'm going to take comfort in the knowing that I was once a teenager and I feel like I made it out the other side fairly okay, I mean, I math like a potato but I think I'm almost a decent human still. BUT .. here is the kicker, the REAL comfort is going to come from knowing that somewhere down the line, all this will be over. Teenage years don't last forever, this is a mere learning curve period and a little way down the road I will get to sit back in a rocking chair, as a grandma, and watch on as my Heath and his wife sit and type into the google search engine .. 

     "11 year old boys behaviour"

     "I think my kid is broken?"

    "Where to buy headache tablets in bulk" 

    "2nd opinions on if my kid is broken?"

    "do boys get periods?"