So many heroes.

HERO :  Noun A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities. The chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities

When you google, the above is what you see. I obviously disagree. A hero isn't necessarily a man. It is a good person, with good qualities. Hero's come in all different shapes and sizes.

When the rain started falling, at first it was a bit of fun. The tanks were being filled and we could once again have long, LONG showers. The kids invented a newer version of our old tradition of 'puddlin' .. we called this one 'muddlin'. As the kids sat in big buckets filled with rain water out in the garden I laughed at them while pouring the shampoo in to make bubbles.

Then .. then the rain just didn't stop. It kept coming and coming and coming. Then the wind came. Then the news stations started throwing out warnings left, right and centre. Then we lost power and perhaps a little panic settled in.

Right now as we sit in our high and dry house we have SO much to be thankful for. SO much. Only 5 minutes away are the major flood areas. 2 minutes away is one of the many evacuation centres. It is a very surreal feeling to be sitting unscathed and unharmed while so many others are facing such disaster. Some of them are facing it for the 2nd time. My heart has never been so sad. It is hard to see on face book how everyone is 'carrying on' .. their life has not paused. It is hard to understand that the entire world has not paused.

Driving around today to find a dr's surgery for my little girl who has a high temp and is very sleepy, my main focus was taken away from the immediate disaster as i concentrated solely on my daughters well being. I could have almost forgotten what was happening as i drove around. There were cars driving about as normal, people walking about as normal, business' seemed to be running as per normal. And then i caught sight of another black hawk flying above. A very loud and sobering realisation that it's not normal at all. Turning into the road where our dr's surgery is there is a road block sign forcing me to drive on the wrong side of the road to get through. 3 car lengths away from the surgery is where the river is now sitting. Somehow the surgery was untouched.

I learnt a long time ago that i am not one who can simply say .. "let me know if there's anything i can do" .. the truth to that is, that most people won't tell you what you can do. This leaves me feeling helpless and like a failure. I learnt that i need to  put on my thinking cap and get moving. A school Mum confided in me a few months ago that she wasn't very well and cancer was taking over her body. She may have a long time, she may have a short time. I asked what i could do, she said 'nothing' .. I went home, felt useless, put on my thinking cap and a few weeks later she went with her beautiful family and had the family portraits done that i organised for her. I shed a few tears when she showed me her photos. Beautiful, precious moments were captured.

 When the news started reporting just how bad things were 5 minutes from here i felt that same sinking, helpless feeling. I didn't know how to stop the rain, how to stop the river from flowing or how to get the wind to stop. The best that i could do was run a few towels and sanitary items down to one of the evacuation centres. I took Roxiee and Sommer with me while Heath stayed with Grandad. Once we found somewhere to park i simply wasn't prepared for what we came across, maybe i'm naive, i just wasn't ready. As i carried Sommer in my arms, and held Roxiees hand i juggled the 2 bags in my free(ish) hand. We walked past all the rescue helicopters, all the ambulances, all the police, all the SES teams and so many other people, so many other hero's. True, REAL hero's. Every single one of them.

The first shed we went to was a make shift type of hospital with stretchers everywhere, wheelchairs everywhere, ambulances everywhere and people rushing about 100 miles an hour while still appearing so calm. Hero's. Lots of them.

The 2nd shed was where we needed to be and after off loading all our goodies i went to the table and popped my own name and Greggs name down to volunteer to help with anything and everything. I then spoke with another lady about what else they needed. Among her list were a lot of things we couldn't help with, then she said toys. I knew we could help there.

As Roxiee and i walked back to the car i held back tears and i explained to her in 4 year olds terms what was happening. I explained that lots of people had lost their houses and everything in them and that we were going to go home, talk to Heath and pack up as many toys as we could so we could make some of those kids happy. "Okay Mummy" she says.

I'm barely in the door and Roxiee is tipping out toy boxes and scooping up handfuls of toys. In the words of my beautiful 4 year old daughter .. "Mummy, this is my favourite toy, but now it can be someone else's favourite" .. and in went the talking 'my little pony' which she has loved and cuddled in bed every single night since receiving it. My 4 year old daughter, is a hero. And i am damned proud.

Although hesitant, Heath did the same and in went a lot of his favourites. We can and we will replace these, it may take a few Christmas' and Birthdays, but they will all be replaced. With each toy that was put into the bags i praised the kids and told them .. "Well done, some little girl is going to cuddle that in her bed tonight and it will make her SO happy. It will be her ONLY toy. You are doing a great thing" ..

The 2nd trip out to the evac centre both the bigger kids wanted to walk in with me and i let them. I explained to Heath as we were walking past all the emergency crews, just i had explained to Roxiee a few hours ago and i could see in his face, he 'got it' .. he was 'getting it' .. suddenly it was more than just 'cool army helicopters' .. it was real.

As I'm watching the news i am seeing so many heroes, the guy who has spent days ferrying people across swollen creeks etc. The local SES worker who has worked through the past 2 floods while her own house went under each time. The rescue crew who had to winch the toddler to safety in a zipped up bag. So many heroes. The hundreds of locals who are opening their homes to strangers. Heroes.

All i can do at the moment is keep looking for families to help by donating what i can. A friend has deposited money into my account so I can personally hand it to someone in need. She's a hero too. When the clean up begins i will chuck some gloves on and help. If i can instil just one thing into my kids, i want it to be to help others when in need.

Never has my heart been so sad. Beautiful Bundaberg looks somewhat like a war zone  Black hawks flying above, sandbags everywhere. Tents set up all over the place. There is so much going on it is hard to know where to begin. It was gut wrenching to watch it from Melbourne 2 years ago, and a million times more devastating to witness when it is your own backyard. It's happening to people you know, business' you call your local and people you call friends. It's happening in the streets you always drive down.

So while i am sitting in my high and dry house, this mess is in my head the entire time. My brain will continue finding ways to directly help those who need it and i am making it my mission to be part of this big clean up. The kids and i sat and watched to convoy of army trucks arrive this evening, what a sight that was. And what a realisation of just how much help Bundy is going to need. While i don't have the power of an army, i know how to pick up a shovel and put some gloves on my hands. If i have two dollars and can get my family by on one dollar, you can bet that the spare dollar is going to be helping these here who need it. Why should i have 2 dollars if i only need one.

My heart is sad, but at the same time if someone offered me a ticket to leave Bundy, which will no doubt flood again, i wouldn't leave. Bundy is my home. It is beautiful and it is full of heroes who i am glad to call my neighbours.