Parenting gig

So, the news is in, this parenting gig is hard work and quite frankly, I take my chosen profession pretty damned seriously. Pretty much every waking hour is spent doing something with my kids, for my kids, or at the very least, thinking about what i will do with or for the kids next. I do status updates daily about my kids latest achievements, I post photos of every single award Heath has ever been presented with, I boast about every good comment I have ever had regarding my kids. My  kids are my life and there is not a single other thing in this world that is more important, so naturally it is what I talk about most.

Day 5 of having Sommer at home and she rolled from her front to her back (or vice versa, I don't recall the finer details) I posted it to facebook straight away. Did I post it to make some kind of  "my baby is better than yours" deal amongst other new Mums? No, I posted that she had rolled over because .. wait for it .. because she had rolled over, and let's face it, I post EVERYTHING to facebook. It's what i do. When i get that first grey pube, guess where you're gunna hear about it? Did people have little whispers amongst themselves .. "Oh my god, did you see Sharon's post, she thinks her baby is a genius" .. yes, I have no doubt at all in my mind that this is exactly what at least some people would have done. I don't think this parenting gig is a competition. I am not competing with other parents, I am however competing with myself. Every day I want to be a better parent than the one I was the day before.

I have parenting books. Sometimes I read them. Sometimes I envision smacking my kids over the head with them. I find both my uses of these books beneficial!!

I have sticker charts for everything. We have a 'love tank' .. it's where I write positive things to each child daily and use it to boost their self esteem. I made a canvas painting for Heath where I listed some positive things about him .. "Heath is .. awesome, handsome, clever, funny" etc  .. I stuck it up on his wall and hopefully he looks at it as he is going to sleep each night and nods off thinking good things about himself. Am I this positive all the time? No. Quite often I go to bed upset that I yelled at the kids so much that day. Sometimes I say terrible things to the kids which I'm sure damages their self esteem, the love tank and the canvas and the sticker charts are my way of fixing my fuck ups. Do I think I am awesome for realizing my fuck ups and wanting to fix them? Yes, yes I do. So awesome that I just hi-5'd myself.

I volunteer at Heaths school on a Wednesday in the 'happy room' .. do I do this to win brownie points? To feel like I'm a better Mum than the others who don't volunteer? No, I do this because I wanted to see for myself how Heath was settling in at school and if he was making friends. I do this because Heath started catching a bus to school on a Wednesday and by volunteering on this day I get to double check that he did indeed make it to school. I pretty much do this to spy on my son! Do I enjoy volunteering at the school? Sometimes yes, it's fun hanging out with the kids and doing nothing but 'the fun stuff'. There are no dishes to be done, there is no washing to be bought in, there are no windows to be cleaned. The happy room is just 'the fun stuff' .. some days I hate it and think 98% of the kids are a total pain in the arse, then I give them a sticker for helping me to pack up and in my head I think .. "Little shits did an awful job, now I gotta repack everything"

Sometimes my kids lunchboxes are full of junk. A badly put together jam sandwich, a sugar filled donut and a whole heap of other packaged goods. The next day they might have a wholemeal salad wrap, homemade banana muffins, frozen yogurts and sultanas. Sometimes I do the big meat and veg dinner, sometimes we have beans on toast. Usually the newsletters give reminders about 'healthy snacks' .. that's when I bust out the wholemeal salad wrap. The next day is usually a case of .. "agh fuck it, Jam sarnie again kids?"

Sometimes I have all the time in the world to answer all those annoying questions .. "Mum, why is the sky blue?" .. sometimes i see this as the perfect opportunity to google an answer and educate my kids, sometimes I ask my children to please stop talking. Sometimes I don't even ask so nicely,  may just angrily tell them to be quiet. When that happens, it's another one of those nights where I will go to bed upset that i was so harsh.

As parents, the majority of us are so, so, SO harsh to ourselves. On the days where I tell myself I am a shitty parent, I make a pact with myself to do a better job tomorrow, that's when I bust out the wholemeal salad wraps and new sticker charts, or make a mental note to take the kids for an ice cream after school and sit to watch a DVD with them. I know it's essential for me to have the shitty parenting days so I have something to look back on and want to improve on.  Would I want to be perfect all the time, not really. I think it's healthy for my kids to see me on my shitty days because lets face it, it's highly likely that in their own adult lives when they are making relationships and having their own kids, they will probably come across some more humans who are also not perfect.


I am my biggest critic. I am also my biggest fan. Overall, I am happy with the way I handle this parenting gig. Some days suck, some days don't. I am trying my hardest to be the best parent I can be, I am learning from mistakes, some of those mistakes are mine, some of those mistakes even belong to others and I have just observed them. Do I think I am a better parent than Jo-Blow? .. I don't know Jo-Blow, I don't know her circumstances, I don't know why Jo-Blow does things the way she does and I've never walked to the pub in Jo-Blows shoes so no, I'm not saying i'm a better parent than Jo-Blow, i'm saying that I am a better parent today than I was yesterday. This competition is with myself, not Jo.