I'm back!

“You need to blog again, I miss your blog” .. Famous words from the sister. As promised, I’m back!! So... I’m writing this in word for now as my internet is down, therefore I can’t load my blog and see what the last one was and where to start with this one .. somewhere between blogs we gave birth to one of the most beautiful girls to ever enter this earth. Sommer Nicole Sutherland. She entered this world, via my sun roof on Monday the 13th of August. At a hefty 9lb 2oz (a fraction under, if we’re going to be particular!) and 57cms long, one of my first reactions to my little hipposaurus was .. “thank Christ she’s huge, it shows my tummy wasn’t ALL donuts!” ..she’s perfect and we are all madly in love with her. She’s a blessing and I’m 99.9% sure that she took so long to conceive because someone up above needed for us to learn a very valuable life lesson first .. that lesson was that the fancy houses aren’t important, both of us working full time and having our babies in childcare so we could afford to give them the best clothes and the latest gadgets, while that works for some families, it isn’t what works for us. I believe someone up above waited for us to learn this by giving away all our fancies and moving to Bundaberg for a simpler life. Once we begun the Bundy journey that someone upstairs was happy that we had learnt and they let us plant our little baby seed, our little blessing, our little Sommer.


There was never a doubt about what her name would be, of course she would be Sommer, her name represents our Bundy journey into better, and warmer things. Sommer Nicole.

You’ve probably heard enough mush, yes? .. okay, moving right along to something a little more entertaining. In this little bag of tricks I have .. catheter stories, lochia stories .. oh oh oh .. I know, I’ll go with my hospital share room stories!! .. so, I had a c-section which is relatively un-gross compared to a vaginal birth. In my shared room, by listening to my neighbor, I learnt that she .. “was ripped a new arsehole” .. “can’t walk” .. “Is going to die when she needs to shit” .. and, that she was now walking like the hunchback from BundyBase. As I observed this conversation, with my vagina still intact, my anus remaining as it was the day I was born and no tremendous fear of a fecal movement, I couldn’t help but be a little thank full that my body has no idea what to do regarding childbirth thus why all three of my kids exit via my sunroof (yes, not because I’m ‘too posh to push’)

A week or so before the scheduled c-section, I got to thinking .. “well, I can’t see ‘down there’ anymore with my protruding tummy” so I’m a little nervous as to what kind of wild untamed bush the surgeon (and whoever else) may be seeing .. I really should go get waxed, or something! .. then the hospital gave me some handouts saying to leave well enough alone, not to shave etc and that they take care of everything. YAY! .. I was relieved. One less thing to do!! Little did I know they would get me to lay spread eagled on my hospy bed, BEFORE giving me any morphine so I could at least be spacey, and they would attack me with an electric razor then get me to .. ‘stand up and jump up and down love, to make the hairs fall down’ .. might I say how very gracefull and moving this must have all been for my dear husband who was sitting beside me. I’m sure I heard him giggle. We won’t even talk about when they came in to do the catheter. I asked Gregg to leave the room .. he didn’t. I asked him to stop giggling. He didn’t. I INSISTED he stop giggling and asked him if he would like to have his penis removed. He stopped giggling. briefly.

Some of you may know, the hospital i attended was indeed Dr Deaths hospital, Bundaberg Base. Needless to say i was somewhat nervous. I had said to Gregg that if anything were to happen to me, i needed him to have the immediate 'skin to skin' contact with Sommer, and .. that there was a frozen pizza in the freezer for dinner! .. i was quite surprised, and relieved, when they didn't kill me. Actually, all in all, they were great. I really can't fault them.

Fathers day. I had a little altercation with my gas stove ..

You know those warnings on the spray oil .. "do not use near open flames" .. well, turns out that little warning ISN'T bullshit?!?! HUH?!?!?! .. thankfully it all healed up well, there's no scars and no permanent damage. I was really quite lucky. When it happened, Heath was the only one inside and the poor little man got the fright of his life. It all happened so very quickly that i didn't even realise what had happened until i seen the look on his face. I spent about 5 minutes assuring Heath that i was fine, everything would be okay, and inside I'm thinking .. "i really need to go splash some water on my face" .. once Gregg and i returned from the hospital and Heath was assured that i really was fine, he was .. well, there is no other way to say it .. he was HELLA excited .. "Can i tell all my friends?" .. "I'm going to call you FIREMUMMA" .. "I can't believe you didn't die!! NOBODY survives that kinda fire. Are you even real?" .. the kid wanted to take me in for show and tell!!!! For christs sakes .. yes son, i would LOVE to parade around your room looking like a mongo who's had a bodgy botox in Malaysia .. yeah, maybe next time!!

Mumma brain - check!! .. i rang Gregg the other day .. "the television isn't working" .. Roxiee and i had planned on watching a movie after lunch and having a nap, this was totally uncool!! Gregg got home about 4pm and the first thing he noticed was the television was on and working .. "the television is working?!" .. "yes" i replied .. "I fixed it!" .. "How did you fix it?" .. "oh, well .. i plugged it back in!" .. "you're a dickhead!" .. he has a way with words my husband! .. though, he probably said the same about me when i text him as i was SURE i was going into labour .. "Gregg, i think there is a foot hanging out of my vagina?" .. he text back .. "I'm busy, push it back up!" .. and, when i uttered the words .. "don't make me wipe some plug on you" .. I'm pretty sure i seen him gag. Some people call us gross, i call it 'love' .. really!!

Driving back from the beach last week we, as a family, learnt a very valuable lesson .. "Wise man say, don't read out graffiti when little ears are listening" .. this came to our attention when Roxiee's latest saying became .. "LICK MY  BALLS" .. dear child, you are 4 years old, you are a girl, your health records say you have no balls.

So, i came, i blogged and now i need to go cook some dinner and get some cleaning done. When things calm down i will be back more, but for now, i will leave you with a professional photo of my gorgeous family. This pic, and over 360 others were all taken by a very talented friend of mine, Briana Corry from Sweet B. Photography. I am  in the the process of getting some of these prints made up into canvas, once that is done i will blog some photos and plug the shizz out of my friends photography as the memories she has created for us is purely priceless!! Can't wait to cover my walls in canvas. Bye for now.



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