Naww-ish kinda neat idea

As the title suggests, there's nothing exciting or humorous in this blog, it's a super quick post about a neat idea which Roxiee's teachers gave me. It's a way of talking to your children, about what to expect when the new baby arrives. Of course i had already had several discussions with both children about how Mummy always has enough love, hugs, kisses and cuddles for everyone but this idea was full of way too much awesomeness to not share with other fellow Mummies who are expecting baby number 2, 3, 4 or whatever crazy number you are currently at!! ..

So here it is .. a crafty tutorial from moi!! .. I'll even include photos!! You're welcome!

First you need a candle for each member of your family, including the baby on the way, and if you're like my friend Jeanette, who i know will read this, and you are a crazy cat lady, then you would probably include a candle for each animal you have .. (that IS fucking weird though, just saying!) ..

Cut the candles to size, in my case, of course i made Greggs candle a muscular sexual godess with the body of an athlete. My candle was a swollen, hairy watermelon with 4 swollen limbs sticking out and the 3 children were naturally the best damned looking candles that you ever did see in your life. For those of you without an imagination i have taken the liberty of posting a photo below of said candles. And for those of you who can't see my inspiration in these candles .. well .. your imagination sucks, it's totally obvious where i was heading when i created these little pieces of art.

See .. exactly how i described them.

Next step is to gather your family and let them know that Mummy is feeling sentimental and hormonal and will be subjecting them to a few minutes of blagh blagh stuffs .. my family happily oblidged as they knew if they wanted the television switched back on it would be done a hell of a lot quicker if they just let me have my speel and be over with it ..

So you explain to the kids that "sometimes children feel worried about a new baby" etc etc .. show the children their candles, or, if you are better organised than me your children would have decorated their own candles (or for those of you playing along at home who have cats, they can decorate their own candles too .. you fucking psycho) .. so, you  light the Mummy candle and explain that it used to just be Mummy all on her own one day, and she had a heart full of love and nobody to share it with .. then Mummy met Daddy .. (.. at the Cranny racetrack, both completely shitfaced and near to passing out, Daddy tried to get into Mummys knickers but she played hard to get .. oh, hang on, awkward .. i guess you could skip the details!) .. So, back to the tutorial, Mummy met Daddy and she gave ALLLLL of her love to Daddy (light daddys candle using mummys candle), but she still had a heart FULL of more love to give!! .. then Mummy and Daddy made Heath, and Mummy gave ALL of her love to Heath .. yet Daddy still had ALLLLL of her love too, and she STILL had a heart FULL of more love to give .. and then along came Roxiee, and again Mummy gave ALLLLLL of her love to Roxiee, while Heath still had ALLLLLL of her love, and Daddy still had ALLLLLL of her love, AND .. she still had a heart FULL of more love to give .. and so on and so forth untill you introduce the babys candle and give the baby ALLLLL of your love too ..  each time Mummy gives her love to someone she uses her candle to light their candle.

Now .. this all worked pretty well, the kids were super excited that we were playing with some fire, and Heath was apparantly a little dissapointed that we didn't burn the kitchen down. Of course though, as with all things, it wouldn't be 'normal' in my family or my household if things didn't end a little 'left of centre' .. instead of having the big gushy family cuddle kinda moment at the end, it ended in tears because Heath insisted that i must have loved him MORE than anyone else because the flame on his candle was bigger, which of course made Roxiee cry because she wanted to be loved the same, and of course, at the precise moment where Roxiee started getting a little emotional about Heath's words, a gust of wind came in through the kitchen window and knocked her candle over, blowing her flame out .. "MY CANDLE DIED!!!" .. and off she ran in a 4 year old style tanty ..

All in all it was sucessfull and after much more explaining i think the kids finally got it .. Mummy's always have enough love, no matter what. Cute hey?