Naww-ish kinda neat idea

As the title suggests, there's nothing exciting or humorous in this blog, it's a super quick post about a neat idea which Roxiee's teachers gave me. It's a way of talking to your children, about what to expect when the new baby arrives. Of course i had already had several discussions with both children about how Mummy always has enough love, hugs, kisses and cuddles for everyone but this idea was full of way too much awesomeness to not share with other fellow Mummies who are expecting baby number 2, 3, 4 or whatever crazy number you are currently at!! ..

So here it is .. a crafty tutorial from moi!! .. I'll even include photos!! You're welcome!

First you need a candle for each member of your family, including the baby on the way, and if you're like my friend Jeanette, who i know will read this, and you are a crazy cat lady, then you would probably include a candle for each animal you have .. (that IS fucking weird though, just saying!) ..

Cut the candles to size, in my case, of course i made Greggs candle a muscular sexual godess with the body of an athlete. My candle was a swollen, hairy watermelon with 4 swollen limbs sticking out and the 3 children were naturally the best damned looking candles that you ever did see in your life. For those of you without an imagination i have taken the liberty of posting a photo below of said candles. And for those of you who can't see my inspiration in these candles .. well .. your imagination sucks, it's totally obvious where i was heading when i created these little pieces of art.

See .. exactly how i described them.

Next step is to gather your family and let them know that Mummy is feeling sentimental and hormonal and will be subjecting them to a few minutes of blagh blagh stuffs .. my family happily oblidged as they knew if they wanted the television switched back on it would be done a hell of a lot quicker if they just let me have my speel and be over with it ..

So you explain to the kids that "sometimes children feel worried about a new baby" etc etc .. show the children their candles, or, if you are better organised than me your children would have decorated their own candles (or for those of you playing along at home who have cats, they can decorate their own candles too .. you fucking psycho) .. so, you  light the Mummy candle and explain that it used to just be Mummy all on her own one day, and she had a heart full of love and nobody to share it with .. then Mummy met Daddy .. (.. at the Cranny racetrack, both completely shitfaced and near to passing out, Daddy tried to get into Mummys knickers but she played hard to get .. oh, hang on, awkward .. i guess you could skip the details!) .. So, back to the tutorial, Mummy met Daddy and she gave ALLLLL of her love to Daddy (light daddys candle using mummys candle), but she still had a heart FULL of more love to give!! .. then Mummy and Daddy made Heath, and Mummy gave ALL of her love to Heath .. yet Daddy still had ALLLLL of her love too, and she STILL had a heart FULL of more love to give .. and then along came Roxiee, and again Mummy gave ALLLLLL of her love to Roxiee, while Heath still had ALLLLLL of her love, and Daddy still had ALLLLLL of her love, AND .. she still had a heart FULL of more love to give .. and so on and so forth untill you introduce the babys candle and give the baby ALLLLL of your love too ..  each time Mummy gives her love to someone she uses her candle to light their candle.

Now .. this all worked pretty well, the kids were super excited that we were playing with some fire, and Heath was apparantly a little dissapointed that we didn't burn the kitchen down. Of course though, as with all things, it wouldn't be 'normal' in my family or my household if things didn't end a little 'left of centre' .. instead of having the big gushy family cuddle kinda moment at the end, it ended in tears because Heath insisted that i must have loved him MORE than anyone else because the flame on his candle was bigger, which of course made Roxiee cry because she wanted to be loved the same, and of course, at the precise moment where Roxiee started getting a little emotional about Heath's words, a gust of wind came in through the kitchen window and knocked her candle over, blowing her flame out .. "MY CANDLE DIED!!!" .. and off she ran in a 4 year old style tanty ..

All in all it was sucessfull and after much more explaining i think the kids finally got it .. Mummy's always have enough love, no matter what. Cute hey?

Milestone Day.





So today marked another milestone. Probably one which most parents don't really think twice about, but it was a big deal to me. Heath has been asking for the longest time to catch the bus to school. Bear in mind that he only started school late August last year, so although he's in grade 1, he's been at school for not nearly as long as all the other grade 1's. AND .. okay I'll admit, being my 'first' i probably mollycoddle him too much and was holding him back for my own selfish reasons ..

When he first started asking i simply told him he was too young .. his reply .. "Well, Marshall is 6 and he catches it!" .. "well, you're not 6, Heath!!" .. "but i will be soon, and then i can catch the bus, right?" .. "yeah yeah .. sure. Whatever" .. i probably should have thought about how soon he was turning 6, but i didn't .. so as May was approaching and he was about to turn 6 years old, he was asking again .. "I'll be 6 soon, and then I'll catch the bus won't i, Mum?" .. "we'll see" .. "But mum, you said .. " .. "I know, i know .. but we need to make sure the bus comes near our house!!" .. "It does, Riley said it does, and Dad said he's seen it too" .. "Ohhhh, THAT bus .. well, that's a different bus that goes to a different school Heath. That's not a bus that YOU can catch I'm afraid. It doesn't go to your school!!" .. for the time being this stopped him from asking ..  i hadn't ruled it out in my head, i just didn't want to promise him that he would catch it as soon as he turned 6, i wasn't sure if he was ready, and i wasn't sure if i was ready!! .. Up until now i drove him in every morning and went with him to the library and waited while he read his magic words with his teacher, then made sure he had everything he needed for the day and said goodbye ..

 .. Right as i was running out of little 'untruths' to delay the whole bus thing, it just so happened that we were leaving our house the same time as the bus was pulling away from the stop which is 2 houses from ours, collecting a small group of children, some of whom Heath knows, and all in the Branyan uniform ..

"MUM, they all go to my school!! They're on the wrong bus!!!" ..

And of course, as we continued the drive to school, there was nowhere to overtake the bus so we had no choice but to sit behind it for the entire journey .. all the while with Heath commentating .. "what's gunna happen Mum, when the bus takes them all to the wrong school?" .. "MUM, MUM .. I'm worried for my friends who are all on the wrong bus .. can't you make the bus pull over?" .. at this stage I'm clinging to something from above to save me .. dear deceased relatives, you should have helped me out here, couldn't you see how desperate i was?!?! .. all i had was the radio .. quick Sharon, turn it up louder .. "Heyyyyy, we love this song kids, let's dance!!" .. too late .. the bus is at the intersection, if it turns right, it's going to the 'wrong school' .. if it turns left, well then I'm doomed. Of course, it turns left .. of course, it indicates into Heaths school .. of course, we sit in the car as all the kids start getting off the bus and Heath excitedly screams .. "hey, there's Marshall, and Riley, and Sarah .. and Emily!! .. AND .. all the kids who were waiting near our house... MUM!!!" ..

.. so .. like .. stupid radio for not playing a better song! 'sexy and i know it' would totally have distracted Heath but Mariah Carey just didn't cut it. Shit.

There was no more stalling to be had, it was time to let him grow up and do the independent thing. So up went a sticker chart, he had to show for 2 weeks that he was able to take responsibility of his school things, which meant carrying his own bag .. packing his own bag at home time and making sure he had collected everything, and last but not least, he had to also show for the 2 weeks that he could eat breakfast, brush teeth, be showered, dressed and ready by 7.50am .. all of which he did. (one minor hiccup where he misbehaved and had to prove himself for an extra week) .. so today, he caught the bus for the first time. And, like any psychopath Mother, i took a million photos. Yes, yes i did. I'm not even joking! And that's not even the worst of it, my friends!



waiting patiently ..




Getting onto the bus ..

Now .. it's important to note that what happened next was completely planned, i had thought it through in my head and decided that it was completely okay to do on the very first bus day .. so as he was the last to get on the bus and i called out goodbye, i turned to the 2 other Mum's who had just seen their kids off, and decided there was no time to say goodbye, Roxiee and i now had a mission to complete .. we had to get our Forrest Gump on and run like spastics and then ..

 

.. we had to "follow that bus" .. Roxiee was chanting in the back seat .. "Quick Mum, it's getting away" .. "FOLLOW THAT BUS!" .. as we drove past the 2 mums who had just put their kids onto the bus and were now standing having a chat, they both had their backs to the road and  i was saying in my head .. "Don't turn around .. don't look at me desperately following that bus .. SHIT .. they're waving to me!" .. DOH! .. hopefully they were waving and saying .. "Nawww, remember when we did that?" .. but i know it's more likely that they were waving and saying .. "WHAT THE FUCK?"



Never fear my dear .. Mumma will put the Padge into superdrive and catch that bus ..





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.. just wanted to check that he got off the bus  .. at the right school .. with his bag ..
though .. now that I'm HERE .. surely i could just run up and get one quick close up photo without him knowing .. surely .. ?  .. OH YES SHE DID PEOPLE .. OH YES SHE DID!!

.. Quick .. quick .. take the photo and run you crazy paparazzi freak ..

.. DOH!

"... MUM .. what are you doing here?!?" ..

"Oh .. i was just .. going to the shops and remembered i needed to hand something in at the office .."
"well .. you should have given it to me!" ..

"I know .. I'm so silly!! .. never mind, did you like the bus?"

"Yeah, it was awesome!"
"do you want me to come library with you?"
"Nah .. I'll do it on my own"
"Okay, you're a big boy now .. love ya, have a good day"
"You too .. bye Mum"

And there it is .. i won't follow the bus again .. i won't go all paparazzi again .. i know it's time to let him grow up and do what all his friends are doing .. so every Wednesday morning i will walk him to the bus stop and let him ride in with his friends .. but, i'm also going to hold onto the few last 'untruths' that i have .. "the bus is full up on the other days so you can only catch it on a Wednesday for now I'm afraid" ..

And, it sure as hell doesn't have room for you to catch it home. Not for a good few months. If ever.