You probably annoy me :-)

Alright, I'm doing it. I'm busting out with the bitch blog. It's been a rough draft in my head for ages now but i continued biting my tounge as i just KNOW that some friends will read it and be all .. "oh my god, you're talking about ME!?!" .. seriously, if you think I'm talking about you then chances are i am, and i aren't! .. Chances are also high that if you think i consider you a friend, then i probably love you dearly and expect that you have a few niggles at me too, i mean, i know I'm ALMOST perfect, but i also know that i have habits which are annoying, such is life .. so, let the bitch blog begin ..

I have found, facebook really brings out the 'type' of person in us, I didn't know i had an attention seeking, news reading, compulsive poster, annoying updater, photoaholic inside me, but let's face it, i do .. i update daily, usually several times daily, and about trivial shit which i know you don't want to know, I know I'm one of those people who posts the photos of the meal i just cooked .. i figure people will (and have) just block my updates, i mean .. that's the wise thing to do, right? Here's a few of my least favorite things to see on facey ..

Let's start with the teenage drama posts (and for the record, most of the types of people I'm talking about in this bitch post aren't on my personal friends lists for these very reasons, i am seeing their posts come up through mutual friends etc, or, i admit, i occasionally stalk their facey to laugh at their current drama) .. anywho, back to the teenage drama posts .. I'm talking the serious "FML" ones .. really, i mean .. "broke my fav pair of shoes today, fuck my life" .. or the teenage love crisis riddles, like .. "why do i have to feel this way, all  need is you to see my feelings for you. FML" .. seriously .. stop slashing your wrists, cut your neighbours lawn to earn some money to buy the new shoes, and then sit the hell down and write a lame ass valentines card for the pimply kid who has broken your heart by not knowing that your awkward shrieks when he walks past are actually confessions of teenage love .. my advice is amazing and you are welcome.

Moving right along .. the people who update about their awesome lives and then continue crying in the toilet because it really isn't that awesome. I truly hope that one day your life IS as  awesome as you make it out to be on facebook .. but until then, maybe work on some area's to get the ball rolling .. or, even try being happier in the life that you do have .. it's not THAT bad ..

The repetitive frown face poster - every, EVERY single update ends in a frowny face, and some are even SO depressing that they have a frowny face thrown into the middle for extra measure. We get it, you're depressed, here's a tissue.

Nuisance spellers .. (drum roll) ..  now .. i make spelling mistakes all the time and I'm sure it annoys people, I'm talking the mere basics though .. DOES is not the same as DOSE!! It's not even almost similar people!! "Oh that dress DOES look lovely on you Roberta!!" .. "Oh, looks like I've got me another DOSE of genital warts Roberta!" .. see, they really aren't alike. Let's try fix it!

The "look at me posters" .. "Kimmy, Kimmy, look at meeeeeee" ..  I don't want to look at you. If you post an update or check into a hospital, why disappear for 3 days and ignore all the comments of .. "are you okay" .. "whats happening" .. why, why, why, WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?

Then there is the occasional friend, the person who you do SO much for, whenever they need something you are always the first to offer and follow through with help. When you need help, they are nowhere to be seen, until of course they need some help again. Of course, the occasional friend isn't really a facebook thing,  but i figured it was worth a mention anyways as facebook is my main form of contact with the majority of my friends ..

The status stealer .. why do it? Because it's hilarious i guess .. but admit to stealing it at the least .. like, when you get the 463 comments of "that's hilarious" .. "Dude you make me laugh" .. do you  not feel even slightly obliged to admit that it wasn't your amazing sense of humour that invented the amazingly hilarious update to begin with? No? Well, carry on then .. i mean, who am i anyways? I'm just a wee lass spewing forth some hormonal words of frustration.

The spotlight stealer, again, this isn't solely on facebook but it's worth a mention .. "i have a sore tummy" .. "Oh i hear you. I have a sore tummy, a broken finger nail, a DOSE of genital wards, heart failure AND a punctured lung, i hear you babez" ... no, no you don't. What you have is a case of the 'drama fucking queens" .. besides, 'babes' is spelt with an 's' at the end, not a 'z', fuckface!

The 'see it n say it' posta .. jus coz it sounds like dis dosent mean u hav to spel it like dis not onle do u look a rit fuckin spaz but u also makin the edyoukashen sistem look fuked .. spellcheck the fuck out of that shizz before you hit send, problem solved, now you may join the world of the educated :-)

Phew, now i feel like i have released .. have a good day people xxx