Dear Heath

Dear Heath,

Today, you turned 6 years old. It feels like yesterday that we set eyes on you for the very first time when you were born as a rocker dude with an attitude and a mowhawk.

Okay, so maybe you weren't BORN with the mowhawk, but it sure as heck suited you as soon as they cleaned all the unspeakable gunk off your head and body and we ran our fingers through your cleaned up hair for the first time. I remember when your Daddy held you up for me to see and i said "OH MY GOD, IT'S A MONSTER!!" .. i was refering to your size, you were a big ole' boy and i was greatfull that your entrance was via my tummy!

 When you were one day old, i put your fancy overalls on you with your button up shirt. The mowhawk was spiked and you were the handsomest little dude that ever entered this world.

At 5 days old we got to come home and start our new life together as a family, including the 8 puppies!

Your first Christmas was an occasion for a tuxedo! .. (please don't hate me when you're older!)

I love how passionate you are about things. Whatever you do, you do it 100%, whether it's working hard at learning a new skill or throwing your whole body into a tanty .. i think this is a lovely trait and it shows that you are persistant and determined.

I love how you always have a cheeky smile and eyes which say you are about to cause mischief any minute now. I love how you let me dress you in shirts which i think are a good idea at the time, but in hindsight perhaps they make you look a little .. well .. whatever, right now they're cute.

I love what a caring big brother you are. If Roxiee was ever at danger of falling or hurting herself, more often than not you were always there to catch her, even if i moved as fast as i could to get there too, you would always be there first.

I love your cheeky nature and the simple way you see life as so fun. We should all take a page from your book.

I love how when we moved to Bundaberg and had to throw you in the deep end by starting school full time, you chose to swim and not drown. You picked up books and learnt to read. You picked up pencils and learnt to write. You picked up confidence, independence and social skills. You looked at the other kids and started making friends. You looked at the not-so-nice kids and told them to take a hike. You came home and you continued picking up books, picking up pencils and asking questions. You were determined to catch up to all the other kids who had 8 months of schooling up their sleeves and your determination did indeed see you catch up AND pass some of those very kids.

I love how you are always surrounded by friends. I love that you will often think of these friends and ways to help them or make them happy. I love how much you love to give.

I love how you are one of, if not my very best friend. If i'm feeling down all i need is a little Heathy-Hug to make things better. If i'm super tired and it's all getting a bit much, all i need is to hear one of your many jokes. If ever i'm being dramatic and forgetting to see the fun, you bring me back by telling me about your latest adventure. I love how i can ..  "love you more than all the elephants poos, in all the elephants bums, in all the elephants in all the zoo's in the world" .. and you totally get it.

I love how each and every day you make us smile, and make us laugh, and make us proud beyond words. You are a beautiful, caring, giving, compassionate little soul who has so much to offer the world and we are so thankful to have been given such a special little man.

Sometimes you make us pull our hair out and yell and scream, but mostly you make us love you with all our hearts.

Dear Heath, happy birthday. I love you more than all the poos in all the elephants butts, in all the elephants in all the zoo's in the world, and THAT'S a lot of poo's!

You probably annoy me :-)

Alright, I'm doing it. I'm busting out with the bitch blog. It's been a rough draft in my head for ages now but i continued biting my tounge as i just KNOW that some friends will read it and be all .. "oh my god, you're talking about ME!?!" .. seriously, if you think I'm talking about you then chances are i am, and i aren't! .. Chances are also high that if you think i consider you a friend, then i probably love you dearly and expect that you have a few niggles at me too, i mean, i know I'm ALMOST perfect, but i also know that i have habits which are annoying, such is life .. so, let the bitch blog begin ..

I have found, facebook really brings out the 'type' of person in us, I didn't know i had an attention seeking, news reading, compulsive poster, annoying updater, photoaholic inside me, but let's face it, i do .. i update daily, usually several times daily, and about trivial shit which i know you don't want to know, I know I'm one of those people who posts the photos of the meal i just cooked .. i figure people will (and have) just block my updates, i mean .. that's the wise thing to do, right? Here's a few of my least favorite things to see on facey ..

Let's start with the teenage drama posts (and for the record, most of the types of people I'm talking about in this bitch post aren't on my personal friends lists for these very reasons, i am seeing their posts come up through mutual friends etc, or, i admit, i occasionally stalk their facey to laugh at their current drama) .. anywho, back to the teenage drama posts .. I'm talking the serious "FML" ones .. really, i mean .. "broke my fav pair of shoes today, fuck my life" .. or the teenage love crisis riddles, like .. "why do i have to feel this way, all  need is you to see my feelings for you. FML" .. seriously .. stop slashing your wrists, cut your neighbours lawn to earn some money to buy the new shoes, and then sit the hell down and write a lame ass valentines card for the pimply kid who has broken your heart by not knowing that your awkward shrieks when he walks past are actually confessions of teenage love .. my advice is amazing and you are welcome.

Moving right along .. the people who update about their awesome lives and then continue crying in the toilet because it really isn't that awesome. I truly hope that one day your life IS as  awesome as you make it out to be on facebook .. but until then, maybe work on some area's to get the ball rolling .. or, even try being happier in the life that you do have .. it's not THAT bad ..

The repetitive frown face poster - every, EVERY single update ends in a frowny face, and some are even SO depressing that they have a frowny face thrown into the middle for extra measure. We get it, you're depressed, here's a tissue.

Nuisance spellers .. (drum roll) ..  now .. i make spelling mistakes all the time and I'm sure it annoys people, I'm talking the mere basics though .. DOES is not the same as DOSE!! It's not even almost similar people!! "Oh that dress DOES look lovely on you Roberta!!" .. "Oh, looks like I've got me another DOSE of genital warts Roberta!" .. see, they really aren't alike. Let's try fix it!

The "look at me posters" .. "Kimmy, Kimmy, look at meeeeeee" ..  I don't want to look at you. If you post an update or check into a hospital, why disappear for 3 days and ignore all the comments of .. "are you okay" .. "whats happening" .. why, why, why, WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?

Then there is the occasional friend, the person who you do SO much for, whenever they need something you are always the first to offer and follow through with help. When you need help, they are nowhere to be seen, until of course they need some help again. Of course, the occasional friend isn't really a facebook thing,  but i figured it was worth a mention anyways as facebook is my main form of contact with the majority of my friends ..

The status stealer .. why do it? Because it's hilarious i guess .. but admit to stealing it at the least .. like, when you get the 463 comments of "that's hilarious" .. "Dude you make me laugh" .. do you  not feel even slightly obliged to admit that it wasn't your amazing sense of humour that invented the amazingly hilarious update to begin with? No? Well, carry on then .. i mean, who am i anyways? I'm just a wee lass spewing forth some hormonal words of frustration.

The spotlight stealer, again, this isn't solely on facebook but it's worth a mention .. "i have a sore tummy" .. "Oh i hear you. I have a sore tummy, a broken finger nail, a DOSE of genital wards, heart failure AND a punctured lung, i hear you babez" ... no, no you don't. What you have is a case of the 'drama fucking queens" .. besides, 'babes' is spelt with an 's' at the end, not a 'z', fuckface!

The 'see it n say it' posta .. jus coz it sounds like dis dosent mean u hav to spel it like dis not onle do u look a rit fuckin spaz but u also makin the edyoukashen sistem look fuked .. spellcheck the fuck out of that shizz before you hit send, problem solved, now you may join the world of the educated :-)

Phew, now i feel like i have released .. have a good day people xxx