Let's open with a drama in the size of an almost 6 year old, he's been having some anger issues lately so the Supernanny in me has kicked in and we have all sorts of sticker charts in near enough every room, and even a 'love tank' (which is a whole other blog for another day, i think I've already touched base with it in a separate blog though come to think of it) .. the latest in my Supernanny tactics was to sign him up for Yoga in which he had his first class last Tuesday. I joked with everyone that this was going to be great, he was going to stop himself mid tantrum and simply say .. "You know what Mum, I'm not going to have this ridiculous tantrum over the Milo which you stirred 3 times instead of 4, instead i am going to sit on my bed and meditate to clear my head" .. i was joking, of course .. i mean, what the hell kid would do that? EVER? .. well, people, i kid you not, you know exactly what happened?!?!?! .. seriously, if you can't figure out what happened then there are 2 options here .. option one is you are retarded, and option 2 is i am retarded and not very good at story telling .. whatever the option, let me relay for those of you playing along at home.
- Almost 6 year old wanted help "RIGHT NOW" with the computer
- Supernanny said she would help in 3 minutes when finished dishing up dinner
- Almost 6 year old wigged out, had small sized heart failure due to the pure devastation of not getting his "RIGHT NOW"
- Supernanny sends almost 6 year old to his bedroom for said amount of time
- Almost 6 year old screams hysterically for 2 minutes then stops .. silence ...
............ YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?! YOU SEE NOW, RIGHT???? .. he's sitting on his bed, his arms are up in the air, his thumbs are pinching his pointer fingers .. the kid is MedaFuckingTating!!! .. may i just say .. BEST 80 DOLLARS EVER SPENT!!! .. EVERRRRRR!!! Now, I'm totally aware that this was probably a once off, he was probably sitting in the yoga pose but saying in his head .. "this will keep the bitch happy for a bit .. hey mum, look at me, I'm yoga-ing or whatever the hell it is you wanted me to do" .. I am aware of this, i don't care, right now I'm lapping that shit up like a kitty with warm milk.
Roxiee on the other hand, she's been fairly good. She's not overly excited about the baby in my tummy, i think she is feeling threatened already. I reassure her that she will be able to help ..
.. Me : "You will be a GREAT big sister, you can rock the baby to sleep!"
Roxiee : "I don't know how to rock gently, i only know how to push babies out of bed"
Me : "well .. uhh .. i can teach you how to rock gently!"
Roxiee : "yeah .. no thanks"
Me : "well what about cuddles? You can help me cuddle the baby"
Roxiee : "i don't know how to cuddle, i only know how to squeeze babies. Hard. Lots. And make them cry"
Me : "........HEYYYYY, look there's Leggo .. let's go play Leggo!!" .. at this point i give my best poker face so as to not let the 4 year old know that her Mumma is slightly intimidated by the demons which posses her ever so cute face! ..
The baby is cooking along nicely, 23 weeks now and it looks as though a basketball, on steroids, has been shoved up my top. Sleep is a thing of the past as it's impossible to get comfy and there also may, or may not, be a slight issue involving bodily gasses in bed .. whoever said real women don't pass wind was probably a gay man, and those who copied his saying were probably just followers of the initial gay man who made a stupid statement. This is all.
Something else which has made me smile in the past month is watching Heath's AusKick lessons on a Friday evening. These kids are all around 5-7 years old, and most were participating for the very first time. The first 2 lessons were basically about ball skills, how to handball, a safe tackle, kicking etc .. then they started having a few little games which were hilarious to watch .. it's quite common to hear the coach calling out .. "NOOOOOO, reds .. don't tackle each other, you are on the same team!!!" .. "STOP, you're kicking to the wrong goal .. agh heck, you just kicked a goal for the other team, mate!!!" .. and just as common to hear Gregg or i calling out to Heath .. "Hey, stop shuffling and watch the ball, yeah?" .. "HEATH, MARK IT ...... oh shit, is your head okay champ?" .. and as the games and weeks progressed, we found ourselves watching him score the first goal of the game, mark a few balls, and get quite a few kicks in, albeit between shuffling and a few ball to the head moments, but the important thing is that he did progress. He's now a GREAT shuffler!! .. there's always next year. And if all else fails at least he's damn good looking and very intelligent!
I must end this blog with a huge thanks of appreciation for all my elephant love!!! The elephants have been coming via post from so many different places and so many people. I've been having a few shitty days lately (just tired etc, this baby is sucking all my mojo out of me ) and there always seems to be an elephant waiting in the mailbox on just the right day .. so for all who have sent an elephant, i have appreciated it so much more than you could ever imagine. They really do make my day.
Here's 2 of the gorgeous and thought full elephants, for some reason the other ones which i also wanted to show won't co-operate and load. But to all the other elephants, you know i love you all equally. Provided your trunk is erect.
Roxiee : "yeah .. no thanks"
Me : "well what about cuddles? You can help me cuddle the baby"
Roxiee : "i don't know how to cuddle, i only know how to squeeze babies. Hard. Lots. And make them cry"
Me : "........HEYYYYY, look there's Leggo .. let's go play Leggo!!" .. at this point i give my best poker face so as to not let the 4 year old know that her Mumma is slightly intimidated by the demons which posses her ever so cute face! ..
The baby is cooking along nicely, 23 weeks now and it looks as though a basketball, on steroids, has been shoved up my top. Sleep is a thing of the past as it's impossible to get comfy and there also may, or may not, be a slight issue involving bodily gasses in bed .. whoever said real women don't pass wind was probably a gay man, and those who copied his saying were probably just followers of the initial gay man who made a stupid statement. This is all.
Something else which has made me smile in the past month is watching Heath's AusKick lessons on a Friday evening. These kids are all around 5-7 years old, and most were participating for the very first time. The first 2 lessons were basically about ball skills, how to handball, a safe tackle, kicking etc .. then they started having a few little games which were hilarious to watch .. it's quite common to hear the coach calling out .. "NOOOOOO, reds .. don't tackle each other, you are on the same team!!!" .. "STOP, you're kicking to the wrong goal .. agh heck, you just kicked a goal for the other team, mate!!!" .. and just as common to hear Gregg or i calling out to Heath .. "Hey, stop shuffling and watch the ball, yeah?" .. "HEATH, MARK IT ...... oh shit, is your head okay champ?" .. and as the games and weeks progressed, we found ourselves watching him score the first goal of the game, mark a few balls, and get quite a few kicks in, albeit between shuffling and a few ball to the head moments, but the important thing is that he did progress. He's now a GREAT shuffler!! .. there's always next year. And if all else fails at least he's damn good looking and very intelligent!
I must end this blog with a huge thanks of appreciation for all my elephant love!!! The elephants have been coming via post from so many different places and so many people. I've been having a few shitty days lately (just tired etc, this baby is sucking all my mojo out of me ) and there always seems to be an elephant waiting in the mailbox on just the right day .. so for all who have sent an elephant, i have appreciated it so much more than you could ever imagine. They really do make my day.
Here's 2 of the gorgeous and thought full elephants, for some reason the other ones which i also wanted to show won't co-operate and load. But to all the other elephants, you know i love you all equally. Provided your trunk is erect.
Untill next time my friends, keep on smiling like you farted. Or sharted.
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