You see, back home in Langwarrin i kept seeing a little old lady, driving around in what i called her 'little red car' .. she would drive to the local swampy/lakey thing and she would throw bread to all the ducks. It didn't matter WHAT swampy/lakey place i was at, or walking past, she would ALWAYS be there. If there were ducks there, the little old lady was there. If i couldn't see her, i could always at least see her car. One day, i seen her car at a bakery .. now im no genius, but i think i can safely assume she was buying bread! .. one day i took the kids and some mouldy bread down to the swampy lakey thing and we sat and threw bread .. what happened next is what began me labelling this 'little old lady' as the .. *drumroll please* .. "the crazy ass duck woman" .. now i know your waiting for something totally insane here, like .. she jumped into the swampy lakey thing and proceded to make love to the ducks .. or whatever. But in reality, what happened here is slightly less exciting, and slightly less beastiality, which is a good thing (in MY opinion!) ..
What she did was .. she started TALKING to the ducks .. now i know that as humans we talk to our pets, of course we do, but to talk to wild animals is different .. she just looked like a fruitcake! .. and it wasn't "here ducky, ducky" .. it was .. "hello gorgeous, Come on, eat up .. your looking skinny" .. uhhhh .. WIERDOOOOOOOO!!! .. she freaked me out, i was like .. "Dudddddde, they're DUCKS!!" .. but anywhos, we threw the last of our mouldy treats to the ducks and left the wierd ass duck lady to her shenanigans ..
It's fairly safe to say that i never thought of the crazy ass duck lady again since we moved interstate .. not untill today anyways. Today i thought of her and i realised .. it hit me .. i thought of her as i hand fed my magpie, Molly her name is! And i know which one she is by her markings, and her size. Theres another one that comes into my garden but i know its not Molly as it has a white patch on it's tummy. Molly doesn't have white on her tummy. Then theres yet ANOTHER one which comes into my garden, and it has the same markings as Molly, but it's skinnier. Soooo .. not only do i know MY magpie distinctively, i have also named it AND .. i talk to it. I ask it about it's day .. "Where you been thismorning Molly? .. C'mon, im not going to stand here forever, come and get your tucker already" ..
The MOST disturbing thing about this was yesterday as i was doing the school kinder run i seen Molly about 3 houses down, so i slowed down and called out "See ya soon Molly, gotta go get more bread" .. now the kids thought this was hilarious!! .. "Mum, whats she doing there? Thats not her house! She belongs in our yard!!!!" ..
So yes, it has dawned upon me, it has hit me, that i am way, way, way more disturbed than the crazy ass duck lady .. but im cool with that. Me & Molly are like bro's. We are like brothers from another mothers, and i totally dont mind being battier than the duck lady, i love my Molly magpie, and she loves me <3
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| Do i look like a crazy ass magpie lady to you? |
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| Molly <3 |
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