The HAPPIEST happy birthday, EVER!

soooooooo .. it's my birthday today, i briefly got excited about 3 weeks ago on facebook and announced that it was 20odd days till my birthday, then i thought better of getting older and didn't speak of my birthday any more after that!! It sort of hit me that .. you know .. im old now and birthdays are really not all that exciting. That was until this morning when my gorgeous kids gave me their gorgeously perfect presents!!!

I got up at 5am, as usual .. and went outside to play with and clean up after the puppies while i drank my morning coffee. Shortly after, Gregg woke up and wished me a happy birthday, then Roxiee got up. She walked outside carrying a book and she handed it to me saying "Mummy, heres your present. I got this for you, because its your birthday!!" .. the look on her face said it ALL, she was SO excited to be giving me this book .. i think i can honestly say i have never seen such a look of excitement on her face, not even on Christmas morning, or her own birthday morning. We had a look at the book, it was a book i had given to the kids to give to Gregg on Fathers Day last year .. it wasn't all that special. I said to Roxiee, "Thank you, i love my present!! Where did you get it??" .. now, imagine THE most excited voice in the world .. "Mummy, i got it from under my bed, for you, specialy for YOU!!!!" .. at this stage i had no words left so we just hugged!! .. The sheer joy she got from giving me a manky old book which was under her bed, was enough to make my heart melt.

Then it happened .. Heath got up. Now, a few days ago while tidying up his desk for him i noticed a sealed envelope, i didn't pay too much attention to it, i could see it had some drawings on it .. he had asked for an envelope specifically, i remember this because he asked right while i was elbows deep in cooking dinner .. i was annoyed that he made me stop cooking so i could get him a stupid envelope .. but anyways .. he wished me a happy birthday and threw this envelope under my nose. I recognised it straight away as the one which i had tidied up on his desk and straight away i was a little teary as he had already put SO much thought into this, he had made it days ago, AND he had saved it in his bedroom!! On the front was written .. "Mum" and "Heath" .. and the back of the envelope was sealed with a few of his stickers.

A few months ago Heaths drawings didn't resemble much at all, and he certainly wasn't writing so this is all very fresh for us. If he ever drew, it would be a person .. he never really tried to draw anything else. He has come so far with his drawing and writing that he amazes me every day. Straight away when i opened the envelope and looked at the paper inside i could see what he had drawn, it was 2 camels. Now, anyone who knows me knows that i love camels .. it started off as a funny/smart ass kind of thing back in high school .. you know .. "piss off, go ride/molest ya camel" .. and it just eventuated from there. People would ask what i wanted for Christmas .. "a camel" .. "how are you arriving to your wedding?" .. "a camel" .. "you have any pets?" .. "Yeah, camels" ..

I said to Heath ... "You have drawn me 2 camels!!!"

"Yes Mum, coz i know you love camels!!!"

.. and just like with Roxiee, i had no words left, so we just hugged!! Did i cry? Did i ever!!!!

Roxiee, not one to be outdone, then asks "Mummy, whats your favorite colour?" .. "Uhhh .. Pink!!" .. and off she runs to her room, she comes back with a handful of more 'presents' .. everything pink she could find in her room, there was a pink barbies shoe .. a pink pair of knickers .. and there was even wags the dog who's pink tounge was to be another of my gifts ..

What kids, seriously .. what  amazing fricken kids!?!?! .. now i know that as Mums we all think our own kids are the most amazing etc .. but im here to say that all you ladies are kidding yourselves, the most amazing, beautiful, giving, caring kids are right here in my house, in my family. I love their guts.

To the market, to the market ..

The kids, Gregg and i wake up on a Sunday morning, and chant our "to the market, to the market, to buy a fat pig, then beach again, beach again, jiggety jig" .. now, just incase Julia Gillard is reading my blog, as she would .. you didn't see the above line, what we actually chant is .. "to the market, to the market, to buy a multicultural pig" .. we sing this because we like to be politically correct and good role models for our children, and to call the pig 'fat' is not setting a very good body image, whereas if we speak of a 'multicultural' pig, it opens the conversation up to discuss matters of the world today, wouldn't you agree, Julia?

Anyyyyyywho .. our Sundays are fairly 'standard', we love the market as i get my fruit n' veg, the kids spend their pocket money and Gregg and i get to see some really wierd looking bergians walking about .. it's fun for all! Honestly, Julia .. try it, i'v seen a few other rangas there and they didn't get bashed or anything!!!!

We had been talking for a long time about getting 2 more puppies, but i was hesitant as we have had nothing but bad luck with puppies in the past .. there was the one with the terrible worm thing going on, Gregg got her as a suprise from the pet shop, we had her for 2 days and she vomitted up live, wriggling worms .. lots of them. I rang the RSPCA and they suggested that she had never been wormed, and for her to vomit up live worms they would have caused a fair bit of trouble to her insides, now heartless as this seems, we had a 2 year old, and a 3 month old baby at the time, i was up to my knees in bleaching the house from 'worms' and we really couldn't deal (financially, emotionaly or physically) with a pup that was already having such problems all due to a shit pet shop, so we made the shop owner take her back. He wasn't happy, said he wouldn't refund the money, blagh, blagh, blagh and he tried to shift the blame onto US .. saying that we shouldn't have bought a pup etc .. we didn't want our money back, we wanted for him to start looking after his animals correctly. I had heard many bad things about this pet shop but i hadn't thought to mention them to Gregg, otherwise he would have known to not buy from there. In the end, he took the pup back, we reported him to the animal welfare who were VERY interested, said they were investigating and a few months later his shop was no longer there .. (i doubt very much that my one report would have closed his shop down, but there was obviously other reports, and when the animal welfare went and investigated, they would have had access to things which we, as customers, didn't)

Then there was beautiful Miley, who Gregg bought as yet another suprise ..she was gorgeous, about 2 years old and full of beans ..the only problem was, as a 2 year old she had already picked up some nasty habits and we really didn't have it in us to re-train a dog who was already set in her ways. One of her 'ways' was to play far too rough with the kids, she would scratch them, jumping on them and pushing them over, and she began bitting them too .. needless to say we had to let her go to another family. The first 2 people who rang up about her, i didn't like them, i didn't  have a good feeling about them so i said she had already gone to a new home. It was 3rd time lucky, a gentleman came and fell in love with her, then he went home to talk to his family, then returned with ALL the family including the other dog .. they took her for a walk .. then took her home :-) .. i have some friends who are REAL, REAL, REAL animal lovers .. and i know they think we are irresponsible pet owners for letting the 2 dogs go, but in reality, my kids will always come first. The dogs become part of the family, yes .. but they are never above the children.

So, back to the market .. we were talking about getting the kids a bird each .. or perhaps some guinea pigs .. we seen both at the market, and we asked some questions, made some enquiries but really we aren't in love with the idea of guinea pigs or birds. Now .. to get home, we had to walk to the car .. and to get to the car, we had to walk past a guy who was selling some puppies from the boot of his little datsun. (totally not unusual at the market, there is always 'car boot puppy sales' .. we stop and pretend we are going to buy puppies every week, just so we can get them out of the boots and pat/play with them .. then we say "okay, thanks for that .. we will go home and have a think about it and get back to you" .. there was the one guy selling pups from the back of his ute .. now there was NO way we were going to buy off him .. he was SUCH a bergian .. "Yeah mate, get em out and pat em' n' shit but look fer the shit, the shits everywhere mate, theyre pigs too mate, they're mum died, stupid bitch got hit by a car" .. uhhhh, C-ya!! He had less teeth than a collingwood supporter.

This Sunday was different though, the guy and his little green datsun with the 5 puppies inside. It was a litter of 13 puppies and there was 5 left which they were keen to see the last of. Straight away we both fell in love with the one with the stripy/spotty nose. I picked him up and he cuddled right into me like one of the kids would, he was definately a keeper!! .. then we played with a few more of them and got them out of the boot .. and we fell in love with the one with the stripey nose. We chatted with the guy for a bit, he told us about the nature of the pups, i refrained from telling him his breath stank and his kid was ugly then we said we would give him a call in 30 minutes or so and let him know if we were going to take them .. the plan was for us to go to Sams Warehouse, look at kennels etc and talk about if we were really ready for 2 new puppies .. an hour later we had purchased a kennel, a shit load of food, toys, blankies, bowls, walking leads, car harnesses, treats etc and were on our way back to the market! To the market to the market to buy 2 cute dogs ..

The rest is really history .. our family grew. By 2. It took us all day to name them .. Bundy and Cougar. They are now vaccinated, mocrochipped, fully vet checked, wormed, de-flead etc ..

Heath was outside thismorning playing with them, and he was grabbing inbetween it's back legs .. "Heath, what are you doing?" .. "trying to grab it's sausage Mum .. " .. "Uhhhh, you KNOW  thats it's willy, right?" .. "Oh, yuck, YUCK!!!" .. normally he's a pretty bright kid but .. yeah .. not sure what happened there .. mental note to show him the anatomy book again ..

As for Roxiee .. well, we don't expect so much from her so we really aren't that alarmed when we see her crawling through the garden on all fours, with a dog toy in her mouth .. at least she drops it when she wants to eat some grass .. coz, if she tried to eat the grass with the toy still in her mouth, well then she would look silly! ..

So, i have a photo which pretty much sums up this blog ..

Not a great photo, but you get the jist :-)

and then it hit me ...

Yes people .. and then it hit me.

You see, back home in Langwarrin i kept seeing a little old lady, driving around in what i called her 'little red car' .. she would drive to the local swampy/lakey thing and she would throw bread to all the ducks. It didn't matter WHAT swampy/lakey place i was at, or walking past, she would ALWAYS be there. If there were ducks there, the little old lady was there. If i couldn't see her, i could always at least see her car. One day, i seen her car at a bakery .. now im no genius, but i think i can safely assume she was buying bread! .. one day i took the kids and some mouldy bread down to the swampy lakey thing and we sat and threw bread .. what happened next is what began me labelling this 'little old lady' as the .. *drumroll please* .. "the crazy ass duck woman" .. now i know your waiting for something totally insane here, like .. she jumped into the swampy lakey thing and proceded to make love to the ducks .. or whatever. But in reality, what happened here is slightly less exciting, and slightly less beastiality, which is a good thing (in MY opinion!) ..

What she did was .. she started TALKING to the ducks .. now i know that as humans we talk to our pets, of course we do, but to talk to wild animals is different .. she just looked like a fruitcake! .. and it wasn't "here ducky, ducky" .. it was .. "hello gorgeous, Come on, eat up .. your looking skinny" .. uhhhh .. WIERDOOOOOOOO!!! .. she freaked me out, i was like .. "Dudddddde, they're DUCKS!!" .. but anywhos, we threw the last of our mouldy treats to the ducks and left the wierd ass duck lady to her shenanigans ..

It's fairly safe to say that i never thought of the crazy ass duck lady again since we moved interstate .. not untill today anyways. Today i thought of her and i realised .. it hit me .. i thought of her as i hand fed my magpie, Molly her name is! And i know which one she is by her markings, and her size. Theres another one that comes into my garden but i know its not Molly as it has a white patch on it's tummy. Molly doesn't have white on her tummy. Then theres yet ANOTHER one which comes into my garden, and it has the same markings as Molly, but it's skinnier. Soooo .. not only do i know MY magpie distinctively, i have also named it AND .. i talk to it. I ask it about it's day .. "Where you been thismorning Molly? .. C'mon, im not going to stand here forever, come and get your tucker already" ..

The MOST disturbing thing about this was yesterday as i was doing the school kinder run i seen Molly about 3 houses down, so i slowed down and called out "See ya soon Molly, gotta go get more bread" .. now the kids thought this was hilarious!! .. "Mum, whats she doing there? Thats not her house! She belongs in our yard!!!!" ..

So yes, it has dawned upon me, it has hit me, that i am way, way, way more disturbed than the crazy ass duck lady .. but im cool with that. Me & Molly are like  bro's. We are like brothers from another mothers, and i totally dont mind being battier than the duck lady, i love my Molly magpie, and she loves me <3

Do i look like a crazy ass magpie lady to you?

Molly <3

Meh

Sometimes its just hard work being a girl. Its one of those days where im feeling down, for no reason. Im sitting in the playcentre, roxiees playing and having a ball and im getting teary watching what i would call 'the perfect family' play together on the flying fox. I have no reason in the world to be down, life is perfect and nothing is bothering me .. Its just stupid hormones!

This 'perfect family' has a mum, a dad, a teenage girl and then 3 young children who are all perfectly, perfect! Im making the assumption that they have adopted at least one of the kids as all kids are calling them mum and dad, and their skin colours arent very matching!! Beig adoptive parents makes then even more perfect!!! The mum and dad are chasing their perfectly perfect kids around the play centre and playing perfectly perfect family games. Im watching roxiee and feeling bad for yelling at her thismorning, even though, to be fair, she DID call me a 'jurk' and probably did deserve to have some hards words spoken to her!! But, i bet the perfectly perfect parents dont yell at their perfectly perfect kids.

I think i know why im a little down, roxiee is pushing buttons lately, she is testing limits and is therefor getting in trouble often, and then im judging myself as a bad parent for yelling at her, or being too harsh with a punishment. By punsihment - im talking a 3 minute stint in our 'time-out' .. Whoa, badass!!

Currently shes sitting on a carousel, in the middle of the playcentre, demanding coins for a ride. I have coins, of course. But i have told her 8 times in the space of 3 minutes, that i gave all my coins to the lady to get into the playcentre, that there are LOTS of things to do here that dont require coins, and she will not be having a ride. She sulks, i walk off, i sit back down, she screammmmmmms... "I WANT COINSSSSS" .. The perfectly perfect parents stop their family picnic to look at my reaction ..

Im ready to take my little brat home, but i DESPERATELY want to see the perfectly perfect parents kids have a tantrum or something similar .. Or perhaps they will offer to adopt roxiee .. Hmm ..